We’ve all heard the saying: “Work hard, and you’ll get ahead.” It’s a comforting thought, isn’t it? The idea that success is just a matter of talent and effort. But let’s be real—this isn’t always how things play out, especially for women in the workplace. The concept of meritocracy, where everyone supposedly gets what they deserve based on their abilities, is more myth than reality. And it’s time we start talking about it.
What’s the Deal with the Meritocracy Myth?
So, what exactly is the meritocracy myth? It’s this belief that if you’re good at your job, you’ll naturally rise through the ranks. Sounds great, right? But here’s the kicker—most workplaces weren’t built with everyone in mind. They were designed around a certain kind of worker: typically a man who can dedicate himself fully to his job without worrying about things like picking up the kids or caring for a sick relative.
Women, on the other hand, often enter the workforce thinking that if they just keep working hard like they did in school, they’ll do just as well. But soon enough, they realise the playing field isn’t level. They’re faced with invisible barriers, unwritten rules, and a work culture that wasn’t exactly designed with them in mind.
The “Ideal Worker” and Why It’s a Problem
The big issue here is this so-called “ideal worker” that most workplaces seem to revolve around. This prototype assumes a worker who can throw everything into their job—no distractions, no other commitments. This might work out fine if you don’t have anything else on your plate, but for many women, that’s just not realistic. They’re juggling responsibilities at home and work, and the workplace often doesn’t make room for that.
Because of this, women find themselves at a disadvantage from day one. They’re expected to fit into this mold that was never really meant for them. And if they don’t? Well, they’re often seen as less committed or less capable. This pressure to conform can show up in a lot of ways—like feeling the need to dress or act less feminine just to fit in better with male colleagues. And even when they do try to fit in, they still might not get the recognition they deserve. It’s exhausting, and it takes away from the energy they could be putting into their actual work.
Social Conditioning Starts Early
Here’s the thing—these challenges don’t just pop up out of nowhere when women enter the workforce. They start way earlier. Research shows that by the time girls hit their pre-teen years, they start to feel more self-conscious and begin to shrink themselves to fit societal expectations. They’re taught, often without even realising it, to be more compliant, less assertive, and more focused on pleasing others. Sound familiar?
By the time these girls grow up and start their careers, they’ve already been conditioned to behave in ways that can hold them back at work. They might hesitate to speak up in meetings, push for promotions, or take on leadership roles—all of which can make it harder for them to get ahead.
But let’s be clear—this isn’t because women aren’t capable or confident. It’s because they’re navigating a work culture that hasn’t evolved to fully support and value them. The problem isn’t with women needing to change themselves—it’s with the systems that need to change to better support everyone.
How Can We Start Breaking Down These Barriers?
So, what can we do about it? First, we need to acknowledge that these invisible barriers exist. It’s not enough to just say we support gender equality—we have to actively work to create a workplace culture that actually reflects that.
One big step is educating everyone in the organisation about these challenges. Companies should have induction programs that explain the specific barriers women face and encourage everyone to think critically about their own assumptions. And let’s be honest, diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) programs often don’t go deep enough. We need more than just a one-time training session or a few nice-sounding policies. We need long-term strategies that focus on changing mindsets, transforming workplace culture, and creating environments where everyone can succeed.
Men Have a Key Role to Play
Men have a huge role to play in all this. As the group that typically benefits the most from the current workplace setup, they have the power to push for change. It’s not enough to just say you support women in the workplace—men need to step up and actively work against the inequalities they see.
This could be as simple as speaking up in a meeting when a woman’s ideas are being overlooked or challenging a comment or behaviour that’s unfair. It also means educating themselves about the challenges women face, like the fear of walking home alone at night or the pressure to choose between career and family. Men should be willing to listen and learn from women’s experiences without getting defensive. By doing so, they can be better allies and help create a more inclusive workplace.
Looking Back to Move Forward
For women, it’s important to look back on their own career journeys and recognise where they’ve faced barriers. Understanding these experiences can help them push back against the status quo and advocate for the support they need. But this isn’t just about individual reflection—organisations need to do this work too. Companies should take a hard look at their policies and practices to see where they might be contributing to inequality and take steps to change them.
This could mean rethinking how promotions are decided to make sure they’re fair, offering more flexible working arrangements, or setting up mentorship programs that help women and other underrepresented groups navigate the workplace.
Let’s Create a Workplace That Works for Everyone
The path to true equality in the workplace is a long one, but it’s a journey we all need to take together. It’s about more than just making workplaces more welcoming for women or any other marginalised group—it’s about recognising that when we create environments that support everyone, we all win. Companies that embrace diversity and inclusion are more innovative, more resilient, and ultimately more successful.
So, if this post has you thinking about how you can make a difference, take action. Whether it’s pushing for more inclusive policies at your job, learning more about the challenges others face, or just being more mindful of your own behaviour—every little bit helps.
And remember, this isn’t just a women’s issue. Men have a critical role in helping to break down the myth of meritocracy and create workplaces that truly value everyone.
Final Thoughts
If you found this post helpful, I’d love for you to share it with your network. And if you’re ready to take the next step and drive change in your organisation, reach out. I’m here to help you move forward on this journey.
This post was inspired by a recent episode of the Heald Approach podcast, where we dig even deeper into the myth of meritocracy and the real challenges women face at work. Check it out and join the conversation on how we can create a more inclusive world for everyone.
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