Are We Creating Silos in the Gender Equality Conversation?

Introduction

At a recent Women in Construction event, a woman told me:“I’ve never experienced sexism or discrimination or been held back because I am a woman.”

On the surface, this is good news. Progress, right? Yet her words stayed with me. Because while that was her reality, it is not the reality for everyone.

And here lies the challenge: when conversations about gender equality are reduced to personal experiences only, we risk creating silos that minimise systemic problems and silence those still facing barriers.

So let’s unpack this. Why do some women say they’ve never experienced discrimination, while others can’t escape it? And how do we keep the conversation open, nuanced, and system-focused rather than divided?

Why personal experience isn’t the whole picture

Everyone’s experience of work is different. Some women move through their careers without facing obvious bias. Others experience sexism so subtle it takes years to recognise. And some face blatant discrimination daily.

The problem is when we treat individual stories as proof the system is either fixed or broken. Systems can fail some while appearing to serve others.

Research proves this:

• The McKinsey & Lean In “Women in the Workplace 2023” report shows women are underrepresented at every level of leadership, and progress has stalled in middle management. Read report.

• A CITB study on gender in construction highlights that women make up just 15% of the UK construction workforce, with many reporting poor workplace culture as a barrier. CITB data.

• The World Economic Forum Global Gender Gap Report 2024 found that at current rates, gender parity is still more than 130 years away. WEF report.

  
  

So while some women may not feel held back, the data shows the system still isn’t working for many.

Why this creates silos in the gender equality conversation

When someone says, “I’ve never experienced sexism,” they may not intend to dismiss others’ experiences.

But the impact can be divisive:

It can silence othersIf one woman says she’s never faced barriers, another may feel her own struggles aren’t valid.

It shifts blame to the individual. The message can become: “If I made it, why can’t you?” This ignores systemic barriers like biased promotion structures, unequal parental leave, or cultures that reward presenteeism.

It fuels the myth of meritocracy. The idea that success is purely about individual effort overlooks how systems are stacked in favour of certain groups.

This is how silos form: women who feel they’ve had fair treatment on one side, women who feel blocked on the other. Instead of uniting for change, the movement fractures.

Why systems matter more than stories

Focusing on systems, not just stories, helps bridge the divide.

Recruitment & promotion systems: Research from Harvard Business Review shows women are often judged on past performance, while men are judged on potential. HBR article.

Flexible work systems: A CIPD survey found women are more likely to request flexible working but less likely to have requests approved. CIPD report.

Pay systems: The UK gender pay gap remains stubbornly wide at 14.3% in 2023, according to the Office for National Statistics. ONS data.

You can’t “train” women to overcome these gaps. You have to fix the system.

What real inclusion looks like

Real inclusion means creating workplaces where both statements can be true:

• Some women genuinely haven’t faced discrimination.

• Others still face it daily.

  
  

And crucially, both experiences are valid.

Here’s what organisations can do:

Normalise different experiences

Create spaces where women (and men) can share their realities without judgement or dismissal. One woman’s ease does not invalidate another’s struggle.

Measure the system, not just the sentiment

Employee surveys are useful, but they must be paired with hard data: pay gaps, promotion rates, exit interview themes.

Make leadership accountable

Tie inclusion outcomes to leadership KPIs. If systems stay unequal, leaders need to be held responsible, not just comms teams.

Redesign the structures

From recruitment panels to parental leave, shift policies and processes so they level the playing field rather than reinforce old power dynamics.

Bring men into the conversation

Real inclusion isn’t just about women’s experiences. Men are also trapped in systems that punish flexibility or emotional expression. Fixing systems benefits everyone.

The risk of complacency

When we hear, “I’ve never faced discrimination,” it’s tempting to celebrate as proof the battle is won. But complacency is dangerous.

History shows progress can stall, or even reverse, when momentum slows. The McKinsey data is clear: women are entering leadership roles but exiting them at higher rates than men. Without systemic change, representation gains don’t last.

Final thought

The point is not to pit women against each other. The point is to remember that inclusion is about systems, not individuals.

You can thrive in a system without realising how it disadvantages others. That doesn’t make your story less true. It just means it’s not the whole truth.

So the question becomes: How do we keep championing progress without creating silos or minimising the barriers that still exist?

Because until we rewire the systems, not just celebrate the stories, we won’t get the equality we’re aiming for.